Monday, August 17, 2009
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Who do these people blog??
Have you ever read an article or a blog that irritates??
Have you come across something that really annoyes you??
Well, recently i have come across a blogger whom i think should not blog and should probably shoot himself for writing crappy blogs..
With cheesy titles like 'sleepin wit d light open' and articles like ' The mysterious powerful element of a picture that sells' it just increases your blood pressure..
So juz check out this link http://www.lucky-kediencepo.blogspot.com/ and honestly ask yourself, should i laugh or cry??
Yours,
Dato' Z
Have you come across something that really annoyes you??
Well, recently i have come across a blogger whom i think should not blog and should probably shoot himself for writing crappy blogs..
With cheesy titles like 'sleepin wit d light open' and articles like ' The mysterious powerful element of a picture that sells' it just increases your blood pressure..
So juz check out this link http://www.lucky-kediencepo.blogspot.com/ and honestly ask yourself, should i laugh or cry??
Yours,
Dato' Z
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Out of Order
Sorry people for not posting any blogs
Everyone was ill
But no worries Dato'Z and Co. will be back asap
Everyone was ill
But no worries Dato'Z and Co. will be back asap
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
It's that season
In less than 36 hours , the order of Z would begin to face one of the task they were ruefully assign to ... an exam....
An exam is a piece of paper where words were printed and their marks are solely based on the lines of that particular question..
Students are required to answer the question and yet have to come out of the box.. imagine being able to do two separate stuff at the same time and has the permanent side effect of causing the brains to have a temp system failure...
The order of Z may not be the same again.. having known to be answering football trivia, playin foosball and pool... we might even write christiano ronaldo on our paper and hope that our tutor would suddently jumps up saying okay , this students officially has full marks coz he wrote the name of my idol..
Being funny isn't easy .. it has it's implications...
1) laugh non stop would lead u to a paid trip to tanjung rambutan
2) lame jokes are subjected to a teasing life..
3) chicks will dig us sumhow.. haha..
4) dato z need someone like u !!!
An exam is a piece of paper where words were printed and their marks are solely based on the lines of that particular question..
Students are required to answer the question and yet have to come out of the box.. imagine being able to do two separate stuff at the same time and has the permanent side effect of causing the brains to have a temp system failure...
The order of Z may not be the same again.. having known to be answering football trivia, playin foosball and pool... we might even write christiano ronaldo on our paper and hope that our tutor would suddently jumps up saying okay , this students officially has full marks coz he wrote the name of my idol..
Being funny isn't easy .. it has it's implications...
1) laugh non stop would lead u to a paid trip to tanjung rambutan
2) lame jokes are subjected to a teasing life..
3) chicks will dig us sumhow.. haha..
4) dato z need someone like u !!!
5 Seconds of silence
Hi.
Halo.
I'm P. U're ....
K ... Do i know u
Yeah yeah we do ...
I need some proof...
P grabs K and began.... ..... .... .....
K says okay , i know u now...
Halo.
I'm P. U're ....
K ... Do i know u
Yeah yeah we do ...
I need some proof...
P grabs K and began.... ..... .... .....
K says okay , i know u now...
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
C.Ronaldo...Rise to Hatred
Ronaldo...ronaldo...once a great footballer now the douche of football...Thanks to this jack@#$, everyday when we open the tv or read the paper this jack$%^ is on...
So we found sum "stuff" on him that might interest you...
Beginning...
Cristiano Ronaldildo is a Portuguese international footballer, who dances ballet for Manchester United. Born Christine Hamilton Ronald Shinji Ono on 5th February 1985 in Madeira Wine, his nicknames 'Winker' due to his compulsive winking caused by a stroke suffered after having his testicles detached by a James Morrison tackle. The Oxford English dictionary now also accept "Cristiano Ronaldo" as a valid definition for "Ponce".
Early Diving Career...
When the game of football came to the island of Madeira in 1997 he instantly showed he had an aptitude for the game. Scouts from all over Portugal came and marvelled at his natural silky skills but more importantly at his perfected diving skills. However, his perfect pikes and tucks with triple somersaults gave some referees the impression that he wasn't actually being fouled. To sort this out, to football club Sporting Lisbon offered him the chance to join their youth academy and learn how to dive like a real footballer should.
Although this sounded like a dream come true for Cristiano, it turned out to be a nightmare. His hideously heavy Madeiran accent (enliked by many respected linguists as being like Spanish mixed with Geordie mixed with Glaswegian after 10 cans of Special Brew) got him bullied and he cried almost incessantly for 4 years. Bizarrely, a nervous reaction was to kick people in the shins repeatedly, this usually just resulted in him getting lamped by his team mates.
Career at Manchester United...
Cristiano Ronaldo joined Manchester United for £12.24m and instantly impressed the United fans, but quickly got the reputation of having only two tricks (the heavily repeated step over trick developed from kicking the shins of his tormentors in Lisbon and the Hollywood dive). Also his temper tantrums and his new found ability to burst into tears complementing his already world-class diving and injury feigning skills cast a shadow over his undoubted talent as a footballer.
Recently, several sources stated that he might be intended to transfer to Singapore League team Tampines F.C. to be their most expensive paid player (after he turns 30). He said, " I have always wanted to visit Singapore... Beckham went to U.S.A. and Singapore appears to be a long way from there .
The Art of Diving...
Match of the day pundit Alan Hansen has complained that Ronaldo had no "end product", he was of course referring to Ronaldo's inability to roll more than 5 times when falling to the ground when no contact has been made with the opposition's defenders and cry for longer than 10 minutes. The 2006 world cups was a major breakthrough for Ronaldo who won the "Backstabber award" for his brilliant display of showmanship against England. In his third season, however, Ronaldo finally managed to answer his critics by winning "Diver of the season" and "Football writers Divers Divers of the season" beating the likes of Drogba and Eboue. Ronaldo's triumph prompted him to release his autobiography "How to dive for dummies". It is the bestseller in Argentina, Spain, Italy and America.
So we found sum "stuff" on him that might interest you...
Beginning...
Cristiano Ronaldildo is a Portuguese international footballer, who dances ballet for Manchester United. Born Christine Hamilton Ronald Shinji Ono on 5th February 1985 in Madeira Wine, his nicknames 'Winker' due to his compulsive winking caused by a stroke suffered after having his testicles detached by a James Morrison tackle. The Oxford English dictionary now also accept "Cristiano Ronaldo" as a valid definition for "Ponce".
Early Diving Career...
When the game of football came to the island of Madeira in 1997 he instantly showed he had an aptitude for the game. Scouts from all over Portugal came and marvelled at his natural silky skills but more importantly at his perfected diving skills. However, his perfect pikes and tucks with triple somersaults gave some referees the impression that he wasn't actually being fouled. To sort this out, to football club Sporting Lisbon offered him the chance to join their youth academy and learn how to dive like a real footballer should.
Although this sounded like a dream come true for Cristiano, it turned out to be a nightmare. His hideously heavy Madeiran accent (enliked by many respected linguists as being like Spanish mixed with Geordie mixed with Glaswegian after 10 cans of Special Brew) got him bullied and he cried almost incessantly for 4 years. Bizarrely, a nervous reaction was to kick people in the shins repeatedly, this usually just resulted in him getting lamped by his team mates.
Career at Manchester United...
Cristiano Ronaldo joined Manchester United for £12.24m and instantly impressed the United fans, but quickly got the reputation of having only two tricks (the heavily repeated step over trick developed from kicking the shins of his tormentors in Lisbon and the Hollywood dive). Also his temper tantrums and his new found ability to burst into tears complementing his already world-class diving and injury feigning skills cast a shadow over his undoubted talent as a footballer.
Recently, several sources stated that he might be intended to transfer to Singapore League team Tampines F.C. to be their most expensive paid player (after he turns 30). He said, " I have always wanted to visit Singapore... Beckham went to U.S.A. and Singapore appears to be a long way from there .
The Art of Diving...
Match of the day pundit Alan Hansen has complained that Ronaldo had no "end product", he was of course referring to Ronaldo's inability to roll more than 5 times when falling to the ground when no contact has been made with the opposition's defenders and cry for longer than 10 minutes. The 2006 world cups was a major breakthrough for Ronaldo who won the "Backstabber award" for his brilliant display of showmanship against England. In his third season, however, Ronaldo finally managed to answer his critics by winning "Diver of the season" and "Football writers Divers Divers of the season" beating the likes of Drogba and Eboue. Ronaldo's triumph prompted him to release his autobiography "How to dive for dummies". It is the bestseller in Argentina, Spain, Italy and America.
Cristiano's Pre Match Ritual...
When he's not busy roasting hookers with his great mates Nani and Anderson, Cristiano Ronaldo indulges in his secret pre-match ritual. He greases himself up with 100% Portuguese Snake Oil before every game and training session. This allows him to slip by opponents with ease.
He is so hilariously greasy that friends and family now refer to him as "The Serpent". Recently, Ronaldo welcomed the introduction of the smoking ban, as he has had many incidents where a stray fag butt has landed on him causing him to burst into flames. He will usually practice a few dives and complains a bit into his locker to help warm his lungs up.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
CHELSEA VS MALAYSIA.....WHO GIVES A F**K??
Chelsea Vs Malaysia.....29th July 2008,Stadium Shah Alam...
For those who are not aware,Chelsea football club will be playing against our 'beloved' national side this coming tuesday at stadium Shah Alam......
We here at Dato'Z don't really give a dam....lolz...
Basically Dato'Z is made up of two sets of football fans...
1. Us die hard Man Utd ('cheers and applause")
2. Those disillusioned Arsenal fans...(Booooo's)
p.s im gonna get into trouble for this..what the heck..haha
so yeah...basically we don't give a dam about Chelsea......
As Man United and Arsenal fans we would like to remain neutral on talking bout Chelsea.....for now...well until the new season starts...
So...here's where we start rambling about our so called 'National Team'.....
Where do we begin?.....
First question on our minds....Why the f**k in our "beloved" pm's name would the FAM schedule a match for our national team against one of the top teams..(yea..it hurts for us to say this) in the world????....do they like getting their @$es whopped 7-0,8-0??.....
Let's face it...the standard of Malaysian football is zero to....well zero....last we checked Malaysia was ranked 166 in the world( according to FIFA rankings)....yes u saw right 166.....ever heard of these countries?; Burkina Faso,Benin,Guyana,Chad,Burundi,Kyrgyzstan,St. Kitss and Nevis?..neither have we...WTF right?...but they all all ranked higher than Malaysia...WTF??? again....this from a country that spends millions of ringgit on sport facilities and all those sports development crap.....
Which takes us back to the Chelsea-Malaysia match...if by some chance that Chelsea decide to play Roman Abromovich in goal and use their ground staffs as defenders..we all know what the outcome will be..and it ain't gonna be pretty...we just watched Chelsea put 7 goals past some Chinese team..and that was in the second half alone....so anyone wanna predict the score?..we say 4 or more....
On a lighter note..we pity the players who'll be going out on the filed tuesday night knowing for a fact that they're gonna get their @$es well and truly whooped...and knowing that we "patriotic" Malaysians in the stadium and those watching at home or at the mamak will be cheering Chelsea on and laughing at the national team every time they let in a goal....
Of course not everyone will be cheering for Chelsea..every now and again at these kinda games there will be a odd number of people from the kampung decked out in the national colours tirelessly cheering their beloved team on....
Someone should tell them..no matter how much they cheer,Malaysia still gonna get f**ked.....
Even the newspaper have already gotten their headlines ready
"MALAYSIA 0 - CHELSEA _ _"
*space left out for the score..double digits just incase....
Here are some of the interviews post match:
Malaysia National team coach:" Our boys gave it their best...in the end we were outclassed..the Chelsea players were too good...."
Chelsea head coach: " It was a good game..the Malaysians players gave us a good game....."
Our PM: " The players never gave up...they made our nation proud...."
So all thats left to do now is for us to wait and see...
"Malaysia Boleh" eh?
Anyone wanna bet on the score?...........
~007
For those who are not aware,Chelsea football club will be playing against our 'beloved' national side this coming tuesday at stadium Shah Alam......
We here at Dato'Z don't really give a dam....lolz...
Basically Dato'Z is made up of two sets of football fans...
1. Us die hard Man Utd ('cheers and applause")
2. Those disillusioned Arsenal fans...(Booooo's)
p.s im gonna get into trouble for this..what the heck..haha
so yeah...basically we don't give a dam about Chelsea......
As Man United and Arsenal fans we would like to remain neutral on talking bout Chelsea.....for now...well until the new season starts...
So...here's where we start rambling about our so called 'National Team'.....
Where do we begin?.....
First question on our minds....Why the f**k in our "beloved" pm's name would the FAM schedule a match for our national team against one of the top teams..(yea..it hurts for us to say this) in the world????....do they like getting their @$es whopped 7-0,8-0??.....
Let's face it...the standard of Malaysian football is zero to....well zero....last we checked Malaysia was ranked 166 in the world( according to FIFA rankings)....yes u saw right 166.....ever heard of these countries?; Burkina Faso,Benin,Guyana,Chad,Burundi,Kyrgyzstan,St. Kitss and Nevis?..neither have we...WTF right?...but they all all ranked higher than Malaysia...WTF??? again....this from a country that spends millions of ringgit on sport facilities and all those sports development crap.....
Which takes us back to the Chelsea-Malaysia match...if by some chance that Chelsea decide to play Roman Abromovich in goal and use their ground staffs as defenders..we all know what the outcome will be..and it ain't gonna be pretty...we just watched Chelsea put 7 goals past some Chinese team..and that was in the second half alone....so anyone wanna predict the score?..we say 4 or more....
On a lighter note..we pity the players who'll be going out on the filed tuesday night knowing for a fact that they're gonna get their @$es well and truly whooped...and knowing that we "patriotic" Malaysians in the stadium and those watching at home or at the mamak will be cheering Chelsea on and laughing at the national team every time they let in a goal....
Of course not everyone will be cheering for Chelsea..every now and again at these kinda games there will be a odd number of people from the kampung decked out in the national colours tirelessly cheering their beloved team on....
Someone should tell them..no matter how much they cheer,Malaysia still gonna get f**ked.....
Even the newspaper have already gotten their headlines ready
"MALAYSIA 0 - CHELSEA _ _"
*space left out for the score..double digits just incase....
Here are some of the interviews post match:
Malaysia National team coach:" Our boys gave it their best...in the end we were outclassed..the Chelsea players were too good...."
Chelsea head coach: " It was a good game..the Malaysians players gave us a good game....."
Our PM: " The players never gave up...they made our nation proud...."
So all thats left to do now is for us to wait and see...
"Malaysia Boleh" eh?
Anyone wanna bet on the score?...........
~007
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